paranoid? me? you? what? ahh!?!

unbearably good

compelling, creative, hip… no, arm

quiet, quiet slash BOOM slash

seamless adrenaline

it takes a (progressive) village

high school humor by adults

mostly muscles

rookie steals hearts; ends racism

not quite refreshing

not a die hard movie

umm questions but yes yes

A *Waste in Time

not (leading) man material

vampires enslave, lincoln slays

Space meh.

All I remember: Will Smith

daddy issues contd.

(prerequisite: Prometheus)

well played

stoner spy action something?

unquotable

crime flashing by

This selection of monsters attack!

eek but ew

something new

parallel existential rebuilding

a little funny action

she’s better; still not good

haha it’s fine but stupid

great prank guys

the talking cure

brains vs. hearts

predictable science magic jumpy killy

killer outfits

john smith screws native population

big dick (explosive) energy

too many heroes

group project where everyone participated.

worst title and neon oldies

astonishingly boring

nothing new: bullets, aliens, redemption

holy shit kitsch

better than twilight

but like actually beastiality

sincere, lonely

charming portrait

perfectly maybe insane

cute but unhinged

death rains on underworld middleman

black (neoliberal) excellence

some more deep sea testosterone

that’s method acting

documentaries ruin everything – even seaworld

health goth identity crisis

pathological elegance

blooming/withering love

glad we grew together

crude lady hijinks

thank god christina can sing

I was seduced

creative, witty, long

nerdgasm (with so many prerequisites)

yep, that’s a hero

bruise-worthy

she’s intense but not charming

ideal reaction

well made anti-bullying ad

surprisingly boring

teenagers try telekinesis

too much too soon

consecutive simultaneously time people what?

por toda la familia

flawed but original

hypochonriacs beware

extraterrestrial spaghetti western with chesse

pretty!

love hurts; love is silly

spooky old chick flick

interesting history lesson

wrong again

pale family vs. pale lady

apes–they’re just like us

lol. bloody awesome

Everything but Domino missed mark

Corporate kills

having kids spoils life goals

Adequate adorableness, appropriate attitude

laughed 3x

dystopian statutory rape

silver-tongued retribution

addiction and special needs kids

felt like i just fornicated

grimm but ridiculous

ow ow ow shhhhh

A visit with old friends.

spectacular and snarky

violent future with frowny justice

like traffic: go, stop, go

too long but whatever

daddies save twinks

webcam confessional by professionals

surprisingly surprising

More tense than horror films

poor white guy

video games’s effect on kids

surprisingly personal

goriest book reading yet

beautiful tech problems

being a celebrity sucks

wizards with one trait each

boring crimes of franchise explosion

most fastest and explodey yet

heartfelt beats from unforgiving streets

can’t forget how to love

aspergers profiled again

want to trust the hero…

needs more dancing

unavoidable emotions

toxic masculinity with guns

apathetic adults… oh, and children

young man battles homicidal playboy

oh damn. actually funny.

plot’s like duvall: slow, intriguing

deep deep-seated racism

cultural and bodily appropriation

women vs. male entitlement

haha that one girl

loneliness distilled

they wasted so much money

monsters! monsters! monsters! ew, humans.

Mom’s a tender terrorist

funny between music video montages

close contact captivation

send help

can’t keep her down

shiny but transparent

white people scare me

perfect space action kitsch

battle of the egos

such a good premise

setup for success but eh

culture-shocked assassinette

Durr/why?/also fun

hunted teens campout

magic hearts beat evil farts

funnier than american rom coms

white plight revenge

loved it

how convenient

errrrr nooooooo ahhh ok nooooo

women: smarter and smaller bladders

There’s no space in space

so artists need unconditional support?

disgruntled stooges

bad cgi covering poetry

orphan repairs old machinery

these aliens are too human

liar liar never learns lesson

did she? beats me

gods are unnecessary

matrix writers’ wet dream

Not Incredible but still fantastic.

unnecessary but lol.

*makes account private*

intriguing and quirky but exhausting

love to hate him

every emotion

silly silly scary-ass demon

must see first one first

supernatural pedophilia

what key?

action, tears, confusion

selfish people sing

sidekicks and science

通常通り、魅力的な (charming, per usual)

scarily enchanting

That’s it?

oooh noooo what’s happening?

kids: sex spreads supernatural stds

not worth analyzing

pretty looking, pretty somber

keanu reeves: action dancer

Indulge me in dance murders

So much more than nazis

irresponsible and important?

how old is she?

idiot princess and space rollerblader

out of control (product placement)

you’re ruining dinosaurs. please stop.

Wonder Woman and annoying boys

soft-core thriller

fucked-up family morals

clinical madness

love a good whodunit

action-packed animation

not talented but charming

darling and real

painful bootleggin’

anne hathaway and bad singing

magical zoological odyssey

gimme that drug

courting congress is stressful

emotional claws out

holy shit. that fucking hurt

evolving sympathies

every emotion leads to sex

comically gory: “fuck immigration laws”

vroom, boom, and i cried

to be young, beautiful, naked

hot dads’ road trip

dark angel fairies v. science

creepy jealous foster mom

too much everything but logic

extremely difficult but worth it

mediocre backwoods brainwash

only good thing: emily blunt

misunderstood people will damage property

(n.) condition of gloomy forebodings

cockamamie time crime caper

how artistic

nothing special

White People: what a trip

gibberish speaks to me

peregrine’s home for plot holes

I guess keep ’em coming

master thwarter

he’s still got it

the future is female

audiobook, the movie

sport fantasizer’s dream on screen

relationship nose dive

really cute terrorist training facility

tough and tender and important

obsessively quirky

cute–even the cat fights

leave britney alone

coming of all ages

figured that out how exactly???

poetics of the mundane

loud, immoral fun

like teens: trying a lot

goes nowhere slowly

deliciously sociopathic

surprisingly quirky, charming, funny

bring earplugs

everything’s quiet

wish i hadn’t

beautiful but unsurprising

what’s really real? death

action shits on white house

this is a man’s world

somber riffs on existence

pixar’s strange, heartfelt brother film

child labor is horrifying

more nazi zombies

visual tricks, no real magic

monstrous acting

motivated people are horrible people

legitimately only paranoia for 2 mins

waiting in suspense is scary.

imaginary frenemy

creepy kids are evil

being cursed is the worst

so good, stays with you

misery loves company

spooky let-down

if you need a nap

handcrafted, gorgeous obsessions

well acted human interest story

dark silly swashbuckling caper… again

nostalgia kicks ass

religious cowboy battles attention spans

ha. what? shit. woah.

howling hearts

She’s good at this

all nostalgia, nothing new.

another underdog dad

repressed elderly take revenge

i spy predictable entertainment

watching somebody play video games

zombie franchise needs to die

[explosion jump]

riddick-ulous

winner of most humane: chimpanzees

error: no emotion detected

first war movie in franchise

lovely homage to other mothers

call your mother

espionage 101: escape and subvert

with enough money…

Lady Bourne

visual depth but shallow characters

Stupid, reductive, unfortunately ingenious

creepy stories to not tell

clever but annoying

why movies are written

may include ruined lives

crazily bantered; hysterical awkwardness

bad dad’s successful horror hunt

perfectly delivered dench, judi dench

western poetry

women enchant men into battle

Fun but franchise overload

well thought through but repetitive

whatever

twink fights daddy’s exes

More spider-man! More relatability!

real heart. so many spiders.

what is this doing here?

a-list tv movie

Buddy system

darkness? try explosions

like IV but funnier

lady leaders know best

fan-pandering dark space nonsense

eerily striking

insane stripperettes hallucinate horrendous adventure

these kids are actually adults

funny ladies, sometimes

gurl, that’s some drama

stuffed with referential humor

creative, cockamamie, uncharming

ingenious investigation

animal-humans go: swoosh! whack!

trilogy-in-one

actions speak louder

mischief makes superheroes super angry

not as scary as worrisome

necesscary

preteens next to me loved

powerful 2nd & 3rd acts

post-teen horror flick perfected

perfect timing for deliberate ineptitude

unexplained curse tempts annoying children

a technicolor tear

consistently scary

Really scary Christian propaganda

culty zombie vibes

Mom fight (one’s a ghost)

reign of terror

flashbacks torture righteous kidnappers

sodomite prince tortures pauper

crazy good impression

Action stars, no acting

beating plastic surgery off grandpas

Too overwhelmed to say anything

more explosive multicultural melodrama saga

delicious drama and tart wit

rough/intimate fights outside ring

don’t grow up

magically mundane vs. tender absurity

deadly dysfunction

oh what fun

glass diamonds shatter when dropped

white savior unauthorized alien lol

reckless boys

gorgeous treachery

typical tarentino

humorously inappropriate

women clean racist mess

just as i expected

crazy eyes

everyone gets an action plot!

unhungry for huge battle

sooooooo looooooong but fun

teen ptsd

expect the expected

enchanting but hearbreaking

savant saves the day

didn’t see being that good

parkoured all over my heart

don’t fuck with lesbians. literally.

great play

should’ve called cops

perfectly captures lego imagination

fuck you, laugh

monotone magic

macgyver of mars

drunk lab rat escapes

teen solve perilous puzzles. again

hitman taken too seriously

multifaceted masculinity and murder

religion is evil

unmemorable

relevant family-friendly anti-authoritarianism

exquisite textiles, excruciatingly slow

rich concept; poor writing

quiet, intensive therapy

won’t want to leave

adequate weekend surveilcation

idiot demon and weird voices

watch internet cat videos instead

little girl, big world adventure

so fucking romantic

laughing while depressed

crazed men; damaged women; sex

awkward kid’s path to popularity

hunted goofy girls world tour

pedestrian used by spies again

ben affleck has certain style

touchy feely superpowered bleh

ahhh so close!

female empowerment scares puritans

drugs drugs drugs. comedown

ouch and wow but ok

don’t steal babies

some laughs, some action

do anything for love/snakes

embarrassing for the whole family!

celebrities are just like… funnier

could have hammered relationships more

mostly comedy (i’ll allow it)

handsome men vs. ugly men

evolving sympathies and a racist

children are magic

Ouch that was ok

personal conspiracy theory destroys marriage

you peaked at 3

heartfelt and heart eating

not child safe

neon-highlighted technologic messiah adventure

ragtag band on bounty

warning: you can’t unsee this

longest somber music video ever

good horror, good cultural lesson

silent siren’s long vision quest

deep (depth), moody, capable

predators with parental issues

New vampire superpowers

scary skype ad

action-packed amnesia

seeking therapist immediately

beautiful but stupid

human war reenactments with apes

find horse, lose horse, repeat

step-by-step sociopath

immor(t)al romp

anna faris makes poor decisions

get it, girl

yes, ladies. get that bread.

More plot holes than rooms

Bloody Good Period Piece

action investigations

smashes into your heart

x-men: extreme makeover edition

franchise merging complete

mutants heat up cold war

megan fox should have c0-starred

resourceful protagonist fights terrible actors

no homo

obsessive woman finds bin laden

yep, that’s a sequel

maybe the cutest?