like teens: trying a lot

creative, cockamamie, uncharming

adequate weekend surveilcation

cute but unhinged

pixar’s strange, heartfelt brother film

didn’t see being that good

so good, stays with you

deep (depth), moody, capable

seamless adrenaline

fan-pandering dark space nonsense

surprisingly boring

love a good whodunit

addiction and special needs kids

So much more than nazis

dark angel fairies v. science

irresponsible and important?

Space meh.

A visit with old friends.

children are magic

That’s it?

creepy stories to not tell

She’s good at this

Too overwhelmed to say anything

twink fights daddy’s exes

White People: what a trip

this is a man’s world

do anything for love/snakes

This selection of monsters attack!

you peaked at 3

wrong again

Adequate adorableness, appropriate attitude

Mom’s a tender terrorist

All I remember: Will Smith

Indulge me in dance murders

There’s no space in space

Mom fight (one’s a ghost)

big dick (explosive) energy

spooky let-down

loneliness distilled

she’s intense but not charming

seeking therapist immediately

only good thing: emily blunt

haha it’s fine but stupid

real heart. so many spiders.

yes, ladies. get that bread.

more nazi zombies

delicious drama and tart wit

boring crimes of franchise explosion

creative, witty, long

setup for success but eh

aspergers profiled again

religion is evil

extremely difficult but worth it

hunted goofy girls world tour

ahhh so close!

clever but annoying

lovely homage to other mothers

pretty!

you’re ruining dinosaurs. please stop.

she’s better; still not good

I guess keep ’em coming

More tense than horror films

errrrr nooooooo ahhh ok nooooo

Not Incredible but still fantastic.

Fun but franchise overload

Everything but Domino missed mark

umm questions but yes yes

通常通り、魅力的な (charming, per usual)

group project where everyone participated.

oh damn. actually funny.

A *Waste in Time

Ouch that was ok

all nostalgia, nothing new.

something new

i spy predictable entertainment

culty zombie vibes

black (neoliberal) excellence

audiobook, the movie

More plot holes than rooms

did she? beats me

handcrafted, gorgeous obsessions

relevant family-friendly anti-authoritarianism

what key?

don’t grow up

crazy good impression

lady leaders know best

so fucking romantic

evolving sympathies and a racist

clinical madness

I was seduced

por toda la familia

Wonder Woman and annoying boys

darling and real

figured that out how exactly???

Durr/why?/also fun

mostly comedy (i’ll allow it)

leave britney alone

health goth identity crisis

scarily enchanting

eek but ew

haha that one girl

preteens next to me loved

killer outfits

*makes account private*

close contact captivation

daddies save twinks

beautiful but stupid

human war reenactments with apes

More spider-man! More relatability!

oooh noooo what’s happening?

fuck you, laugh

worst title and neon oldies

Bloody Good Period Piece

daddy issues contd.

(prerequisite: Prometheus)

battle of the egos

flawed but original

toxic masculinity with guns

more explosive multicultural melodrama saga

cultural and bodily appropriation

but like actually beastiality

nostalgia kicks ass

emotional claws out

won’t want to leave

not quite refreshing

deep deep-seated racism

[explosion jump]

white savior unauthorized alien lol

women: smarter and smaller bladders

New vampire superpowers

the future is female

it takes a (progressive) village

not talented but charming

predictable science magic jumpy killy

pretty looking, pretty somber

misery loves company

first war movie in franchise

the talking cure

powerful 2nd & 3rd acts

wizards with one trait each

child labor is horrifying

spectacular and snarky

tough and tender and important

gorgeous treachery

good horror, good cultural lesson

peregrine’s home for plot holes

if you need a nap

ow ow ow shhhhh

white plight revenge

Stupid, reductive, unfortunately ingenious

Buddy system

Corporate kills

heartfelt and heart eating

women vs. male entitlement

multifaceted masculinity and murder

can’t forget how to love

unnecessary but lol.

watch internet cat videos instead

Really scary Christian propaganda

monotone magic

x-men: extreme makeover edition

nerdgasm (with so many prerequisites)

white people scare me

parkoured all over my heart

get it, girl

nothing special

paranoid? me? you? what? ahh!?!

maybe the cutest?

astonishingly boring

yep, that’s a sequel

they wasted so much money

female empowerment scares puritans

such a good premise

lol. bloody awesome

expect the expected

call your mother

whatever

how old is she?

typical tarentino

necesscary

like IV but funnier

macgyver of mars

send help

stoner spy action something?

spooky old chick flick

gurl, that’s some drama

gibberish speaks to me

a little funny action

supernatural pedophilia

hot dads’ road trip

he’s still got it

every emotion

out of control (product placement)

western poetry

vroom, boom, and i cried

too many heroes

kids: sex spreads supernatural stds

scary skype ad

immor(t)al romp

beautiful tech problems

idiot princess and space rollerblader

unavoidable emotions

some more deep sea testosterone

not as scary as worrisome

savant saves the day

selfish people sing

intriguing and quirky but exhausting

crazy eyes

a-list tv movie

teen ptsd

deliciously sociopathic

action, tears, confusion

perfectly maybe insane

keanu reeves: action dancer

warning: you can’t unsee this

perfect space action kitsch

a technicolor tear

laughing while depressed

teen solve perilous puzzles. again

glad we grew together

funny ladies, sometimes

apes–they’re just like us

goes nowhere slowly

surprisingly surprising

franchise merging complete

monsters! monsters! monsters! ew, humans.

loud, immoral fun

quiet, intensive therapy

somber riffs on existence

trilogy-in-one

what’s really real? death

silent siren’s long vision quest

bruise-worthy

oh what fun

dystopian statutory rape

bring earplugs

mostly muscles

error: no emotion detected

being cursed is the worst

not worth analyzing

pathological elegance

well acted human interest story

perfectly captures lego imagination

drugs drugs drugs. comedown

loved it

well played

love to hate him

everyone gets an action plot!

unquotable

poetics of the mundane

sooooooo looooooong but fun

handsome men vs. ugly men

holy shit. that fucking hurt

interesting history lesson

video games’s effect on kids

ideal reaction

well made anti-bullying ad

unbearably good

can’t keep her down

not (leading) man material

must see first one first

riddick-ulous

too much too soon

felt like i just fornicated

some laughs, some action

resourceful protagonist fights terrible actors

surprisingly personal

poor white guy

legitimately only paranoia for 2 mins

documentaries ruin everything – even seaworld

ouch and wow but ok

humorously inappropriate

monstrous acting

action investigations

consistently scary

really cute terrorist training facility

celebrities are just like… funnier

too much everything but logic

wish i hadn’t

rich concept; poor writing

most fastest and explodey yet

coming of all ages

darkness? try explosions

glass diamonds shatter when dropped

sidekicks and science

motivated people are horrible people

beautiful but unsurprising

goriest book reading yet

heartfelt beats from unforgiving streets

rookie steals hearts; ends racism

what is this doing here?

action shits on white house

may include ruined lives

visual tricks, no real magic

eerily striking

better than twilight

not a die hard movie

creepy jealous foster mom

vampires enslave, lincoln slays

anne hathaway and bad singing

consecutive simultaneously time people what?

silver-tongued retribution

just as i expected

obsessive woman finds bin laden

embarrassing for the whole family!

courting congress is stressful

so artists need unconditional support?

magical zoological odyssey

crazily bantered; hysterical awkwardness

touchy feely superpowered bleh

want to trust the hero…

perfectly delivered dench, judi dench

smashes into your heart

creepy kids are evil

great prank guys

bad dad’s successful horror hunt

why movies are written

drunk lab rat escapes

evolving sympathies

violent future with frowny justice

zombie franchise needs to die

painful bootleggin’

beating plastic surgery off grandpas

perfect timing for deliberate ineptitude

fucked-up family morals

personal conspiracy theory destroys marriage

to be young, beautiful, naked

animal-humans go: swoosh! whack!

reign of terror

stuffed with referential humor

ha. what? shit. woah.

women enchant men into battle

pale family vs. pale lady

cockamamie time crime caper

obsessively quirky

holy shit kitsch

mischief makes superheroes super angry

post-teen horror flick perfected

apathetic adults… oh, and children

espionage 101: escape and subvert

high school humor by adults

unhungry for huge battle

with enough money…

don’t steal babies

orphan repairs old machinery

little girl, big world adventure

predators with parental issues

teenagers try telekinesis

step-by-step sociopath

find horse, lose horse, repeat

women clean racist mess

(n.) condition of gloomy forebodings

deadly dysfunction

ingenious investigation

master thwarter

brains vs. hearts

actions speak louder

gods are unnecessary

longest somber music video ever

crazed men; damaged women; sex

imaginary frenemy

mediocre backwoods brainwash

needs more dancing

anna faris makes poor decisions

another underdog dad

like traffic: go, stop, go

sport fantasizer’s dream on screen

hypochonriacs beware

flashbacks torture righteous kidnappers

grimm but ridiculous

young man battles homicidal playboy

sodomite prince tortures pauper

love hurts; love is silly

winner of most humane: chimpanzees

parallel existential rebuilding

extraterrestrial spaghetti western with chesse

yep, that’s a hero

sincere, lonely

disgruntled stooges

magic hearts beat evil farts

not child safe

shiny but transparent

magically mundane vs. tender absurity

these kids are actually adults

mutants heat up cold war

action-packed animation

how artistic

dark silly swashbuckling caper… again

crude lady hijinks

quiet, quiet slash BOOM slash

religious cowboy battles attention spans

could have hammered relationships more

exquisite textiles, excruciatingly slow

well thought through but repetitive

charming portrait

silly silly scary-ass demon

culture-shocked assassinette

no homo

insane stripperettes hallucinate horrendous adventure

relationship nose dive

gimme that drug

nothing new: bullets, aliens, redemption

death rains on underworld middleman

howling hearts

these aliens are too human

action-packed amnesia

soft-core thriller

visual depth but shallow characters

crime flashing by

idiot demon and weird voices

surprisingly quirky, charming, funny

enchanting but hearbreaking

hitman taken too seriously

reckless boys

blooming/withering love

liar liar never learns lesson

rough/intimate fights outside ring

being a celebrity sucks

great play

unexplained curse tempts annoying children

neon-highlighted technologic messiah adventure

ragtag band on bounty

pedestrian used by spies again

that’s method acting

thank god christina can sing

hunted teens campout

every emotion leads to sex

too long but whatever

misunderstood people will damage property

cute–even the cat fights

compelling, creative, hip… no, arm

everything’s quiet

how convenient

waiting in suspense is scary.

repressed elderly take revenge

bad cgi covering poetry

webcam confessional by professionals

awkward kid’s path to popularity

ben affleck has certain style

megan fox should have c0-starred

funnier than american rom coms

watching somebody play video games

funny between music video montages

comically gory: “fuck immigration laws”

john smith screws native population

plot’s like duvall: slow, intriguing

should’ve called cops

having kids spoils life goals

matrix writers’ wet dream

don’t fuck with lesbians. literally.

unmemorable

laughed 3x

Action stars, no acting

Lady Bourne